Free · 2 minutes · 12 questions
The Attachment Style Quiz
Anxious, avoidant, or secure? Answer honestly — not aspirationally. The result maps directly to the anxious-avoidant loop and points you to the exact chapters of The Secure Switch written for your side of it.
- Question 1 of 12
He hasn't texted back in six hours. What's happening in your body?
- Question 2 of 12
Things are getting close. Your first instinct is to…
- Question 3 of 12
He says 'I need some space this weekend.' You hear…
- Question 4 of 12
You had a fight. Between the fight and making up, you…
- Question 5 of 12
How often do you re-read his old messages for clues?
- Question 6 of 12
He wants to define the relationship. Your gut says…
- Question 7 of 12
When a partner is upset with you, you tend to…
- Question 8 of 12
You imagine your ideal week with a partner. It looks like…
- Question 9 of 12
When someone shows strong interest early, you…
- Question 10 of 12
Talking about deep feelings with a partner is…
- Question 11 of 12
If he pulled back tomorrow, the loudest thought would be…
- Question 12 of 12
Your closest friends would describe your love life as…
About the attachment style quiz
Attachment theory, first developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, describes the patterns we learn early on for closeness and distance. In adult romantic relationships, researchers commonly describe three working styles: anxious (reach for closeness under stress), avoidant (create distance under stress), and secure (regulate without collapsing toward either pole). This quiz is a directional self-assessment, not a diagnosis — but the pattern it surfaces is exactly the one that keeps the anxious-avoidant loop turning.